FAR FROM IT!
Let me explain something. Being enlightened does NOT mean "being happy" - It is about being able to see the TRUTH of things and using that truth to overcome the negative. And when you are on the ROAD to enlightenment, you are even more susceptible to becoming "en-darkened" for a short time, now and again.
In fact. as you become more and more enlightened, You become more and more aware of the truth of things. You see people who are walking a different road. You can see lies more clearly. You can see pettiness and jealousy and sadness.
And Loneliness.
Last night, for instance, was probably the most challenging evening that I have had since I began this journey. I found myself full of energy after doing two things: I donated some money, even though I don't have any for myself right now, to the 12-12-12 concert for the poor people affected by Hurricane Sandy - and I participated in the Master Shift global meditation. For three or four hours afterward,I was buzzing--literally physically and energetically BUZZING with good vibes.
As I attempted to share this goodness with people on Twitter, Facebook and the phone (to people that I am close to), it began to get painfully lonely. I became more and more aware that I was alone. Not just alone, but lonely. There is a big difference. I can be alone. I am alone. But I was lonely. I needed human contact--and not just the kind of contact that could have been had by going and having a beer with friends---I needed intimate contact. By that, I do NOT mean sex. I mean intimate, face to face conversation, touching and love. I needed it...badly.
When I realized that was not coming to me, I began to cry. Ever so slightly, I began to tear up at the thought that I had no one here and it would be "who knows how long" before I will be able to have that in my life again. I began to question my life. I began to question my reasons for how I got to where I am now. I began to regret (a word that I HATE by the way) my actions that led to this loneliness and began to wonder what I could have done differently to prevent it.
I sat with it...I went to bed and I stared at the ceiling. Desperate for someone to be lying with me....
My alarm went off this morning and I realized that I had not dreamed. This, my friends, is RARE for me. I dream all the time. I didn't wake with the same lust for life and truth, but why?
The answer, became clear after a few moments of pondering---The answer is this: Knowing the truth and LIKING the truth are two different things. This is the basis of enlightenment. KNOWING the truth and accepting that NOTHING is permanent is the key. Impermanence. Remember that. Impermanence.
What are the Three Marks of Existence?
Impermanence, Suffering and Non-Self
A full understanding of these three things will bring an end to suffering.
The reason we dive into depression and negativity is because we become convinced that our current situation will be our permanent situation. We don't see light at the end of the tunnel. We don't see a way out. We don't see a future.
What must we do to overcome this? We have to sit and be in the now.
Yes, I am lonely now. But just for now. Just for now....Just for now....Just for now.....
Peace to you all - Be nice to each other---and if you love someone--tell them everyday--
Kit
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