Humility - Kinda hard at first--Smiling is a good start.

Having spent the vast majority of my life as a guy who didn't have the first clue what was going on, I can tell you that I spent the bulk of my early manhood in cultivating a look, an attitude and skill-set that allows me to "take a brutha down" for looking at me sideways. This served me well for doing things like walking down dark alleys with a wallet full of money or leaving a bar fight with my fingers still attached and no stitches in my head.

The problem is that those are really the only reasons to cultivate that look, attitude and skill-set  We tell ourselves it is so that we can protect our loved ones from all manner of evil. That's not true. It is an ego thing. When you look tough (and can back it up) you have more confidence, more swagger---you are more of a man (you think). However, for 90% of the guys out there that do this, it is mostly talk. We don't want to fight. We really don't. But the urge to "man up" on someone is ingrained deeply in our DNA.


This brings me to today. I had to walk 3.5 miles to my old house to check the mail. Now if you read my first post, you know that I don't have a house anymore. I am living in a (what's the adjective?) hotel. I don't have a car, so I have to walk--and since I don't have an address, I can't very well turn in a change of address just yet. So I have to go get my mail. It takes about 45 minutes at a brisk pace. That's 90 mins round-trip  Today it was 21 degrees. It sucked. But, what's the zen thing? I was doing it because that is what I am meant to be doing at the time. Yes, I was meant to walk 7 miles in 21 degree weather to get a hand full of bills that I can't pay. Did I mention the ice rain that fell? But it was the only place I was meant to be. So there I was.
My old house is in a really nice neighborhood. Nice cars, young married couples, kids, holiday decorations etc...But my NEW digs are in (what my fifteen year old son would call) a "sketchy" part of town. Since I have the look, attitude and skill-set to walk through sketchy parts of town, it doesn't even really occur to me to notice where I am. I am just walking.

But this morning, I was texting with MHL (see the first post to catch up on the cast of characters--she will be mentioned A LOT in the coming months) about being humble. There comes a time in every seeker's life where you have to humble yourself--you have to get on your knees both figuratively and physically and prostrate yourself before the universe and beg for a do-over. You have to see the error of your ways if you want to know the truth. It sucks. I get it. It's hard for a macho man to become a macho zen. Its hard to be on your knees when you have spent your whole life with your chest puffed out. But we have to do it. You simply can't learn unless you are open to learning--and that openness requires humility. Don't worry--you're still tough---you just don't have to tell anyone how tough you are anymore. The burden that's lifted is actually pretty cool. You want to prove how tough you are? Be humble. That's WAY tougher than any bar brawl.

So today, as I walked through the sketchy part of town, I decided to work on humility. As I approached the various drifters, tweekers, mumblers and other potential threats, I decided to smile at them instead of scowling. See, the scowl is something that I have cultivated over many years (see pic on the right--scary huh?)--It has served me well. Sometimes you need it. It served me well as a boxing coach. It served me well walking through the Los Angeles downtown bus station---you have to have a game face. Those animals will see you coming a mile away if you don't.

Not today. Today I smiled. I said, "Good Morning." and I took my sunglasses off...and you know what? I felt lighter. I felt better. I felt more in control. I felt attached to the power of the positive. Plus it was awesome to see how MY smile affects others. Because what you may not know, is that while you are walking around acting tough trying to protect yourself-you are probably coming off as one of the scary people to someone else. But when you smile and say, "Good morning." - Well, it makes people around you just a bit lighter too because they don't have to be afraid of YOU. Ya see, in psychological terms; Scowling makes you look like an unapproachable prick, while smiling makes you look like a nice, humble person who actually loves the world.

So let's recap:
Scowling = Closed off and full of anger
Smiling = Approachable and humble.

(See...Look at that picture. Smiling just looks better too!)

Its dark now. Its getting late. I gotta go. I want to go walk up to some creepy people and smile at them in the dark--See how that goes! Wish me luck!

Peace to you! Be nice to each other dammit.

Kit

Zen Blossom Ii Framed Art Print By Sarah Stockstill (Google Affiliate Ad)