I disappeared from my blog for various reasons. The primary being that I felt like I didn't need it, or rather, it didn't need me anymore. I felt like I was not giving it proper attention and therefore it was wilting and didn't care.
So I left. I was gone from writing because my mind was elsewhere. It was with women, work, family and ego.
In the last few months, I have learned new things about myself.
- I thought I hated being alone. That's not true. What I hated was loneliness. Being alone is actually ok.
- I am not happy being away from my son. I am away because of material reasons. If you are a reader of this blog, you know what I went through a year or so ago...I am terrified that I will go through that again if I leave the comfort of my current situation--but I am also aware that the only part of my life that IS happy is my wallet. Everything else is for shit. But that is ok. That is the WAY that it is supposed to be right now.
- I have come to realize that the things that make me the happiest have nothing to do with anyone else. It is ALL on me.