Since we touched on humility, I would like to about gratitude. Let me explain--make no mistake--GRATITUDE is a choice. Not just a choice, but a tough CONSCIOUS choice. You have to choose to be grateful. And not just for what you have, but for what you don't have. Be GRATEFUL for where you are, even if where you are seems like hell. I promise, it isn't.
This lesson, for me, has been the toughest. I don't like to live in the past, but let me explain. This explanation is not going to give you the full picture of where I am in life right now, but it will show you the road map.
Flashback to three years ago. I two cars, I had a nice house with a hot tub, pool table, a big deck, nice furniture, 6 guitars, a home studio, AND my own business. I was doing pretty well. Not great, but good enough. I was making a go of it. I was mostly happy.
Then one night, I felt a twinge in my leg. Eventually that twinge multiplied. Then those twinges turned into muscle cramps. Those cramps worsened in severity and number. They happened all over my body. No muscle group was spared. Then those cramps happened in my chest, tried to crush my heart in my sleep and my life changed forever. I was told that I had a really crappy hand dealt to me. Since I owned my own business, I didn't have insurance. My medical bills approached $80,000 - Yeah...That's right. $80,000 just in medical bills.
7 months later, I didn't have a house with all that stuff, I didn't have my own business. But I did have my health back and you know what? I was grateful.
Now let's fast forward to today. I have had to rethink my life. I have a job that isn't very fulfilling and pays a whoppin $12.00 an hour. I don't have a car any longer and for reasons that we will get into in another post, I once again don't have a house. That's two houses in three years. Once you hear the story for why I don't have a house now, you're gonna just shake your head. Heck, you might not even believe it. That post will come soon.
With all of this going on, I am grateful--
When I see someone driving their nice car while I walk in 19 degree weather, I am grateful. I have my legs again AND I don't have a car payment or car insurance to worry about.
When I see someone getting out of their nice car in the driveway of their nice house, instead of being envious, I am grateful. I have a roof over my head. You might not know this, but it is pretty easy to be grateful to be staying in a dark, musty, hotel room. What's the other option? Tell you what--Grab some clothes, wherever you are right now, and go walk down the street. When you get tired, try to sleep on the ground, in the winter. Do that for three minutes and tell me what you would give for a warm hotel room.
This happens all the time for me. When I hate my job or when I am surrounded by negativity at work, I am grateful that I have the job. When I get my paycheck and it barely pays for the hotel, I am grateful that I have a paycheck that will barely pay for the hotel.
Don't get me wrong. I am not settling. I haven't stopped trying. I have goals.
I want to move to New Mexico (I will tell you why later). I want to spend my life loving my partner and making a life with her--I want the same things that I see all the time. I don't want to spend Christmas in this hotel, but I am grateful that I am. I don't want to walk to the store to get my one meal for the day, but I am grateful that I have legs to walk with and a meal to eat...
And I am grateful because I am CHOOSING to be. It would be easy to piss and moan and complain about my bad luck or to be a victim and whine about "why me..." and there are times that I do slip...But all I have to do is remember to make that choice to be grateful. Everyday.
Hey, look. I am a realist. $4000 would change my life right now. It would enable me to escape this situation--and if I found it on the ground, I would say a HUGE "THANK YOU" to the universe--and I would be grateful that I could buy a cheap car and drive to New Mexico where a better job awaits. But I would never stop this journey--I will never stop being humble and grateful and full of love and life.
For now, I am grateful for everything that I do have (health, a roof, a job, people that love me) and I am grateful for things that I don't have (bills...lol).
Wake up tomorrow. Look around at what you have. Make the choice to be grateful.
MAKE THE CHOICE!
Peace to you....Be nice to each other.
Kit
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